I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
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Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
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Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
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