So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
