I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I touched a dick in church today
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
