We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
