Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
