The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I need water and some morals
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
