Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Randomize
