His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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