You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
