Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize