Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize