Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
