If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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