Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
