no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
