The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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