Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
should my penis look like a turkey
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I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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