You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
