I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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