The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
