she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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