i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I need a beard to bite.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
