I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
