i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
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talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I pour the whiskey from now on
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