OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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