As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I'm passing your future prison.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
