I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
