I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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