So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
