I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
