Ambien. No doubt about it.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
