The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
