Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
