Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize