Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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