we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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