Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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