have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
