your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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