i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
nutella sex= disaster
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Randomize
