i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
It was like giving head to a cactus.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
