i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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