i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
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