you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just gift wrapped bread.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Randomize
