billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
