we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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