It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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