We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
