How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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