I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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