THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
