You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
