dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
