I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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