took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
