Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
